When Titanium Breaks- When the break is over.

It's been a year and two months since my last Ironman. I promised myself a year to just take it easy and really rest my body and more important shed the invincibility cloak and be regular.
In the past year, I have worked out when I felt like it and didn't went I didn't. I did regular people do and chose work and excuses over getting to the gym. I ate what I wanted and really didn't eat terrible but did eat without regard. I am happy to say I have hit rock bottom and now it's time to get back in the game. I am planning one hell of a come back. I am happy to say all the years of eating healthy and working out has made it impossible to ignore how difficult it has been to just let things go.

I did take the break for another important reason and that was to be present in my life. I used exercise and eating and trying to leap tall buildings with a single bound as a distraction to being present. I had wise counsel that say said "just sit with the feelings" the ones that brought yucky stuff to the surface and lots of times the good ones too.  It was time to really be present in my life and try to figure out whether I could manage not to run away or hide from myself. I know -- deeper than "eat less move more" as a life plan and way more complicated than dieting but after two half Ironman races and two full IM races in two years with a major life change (a divorce) and a number of other obstacles (career shift, life shift -daughter leaving for college and giving up my personal training business) Not only is that a run on sentence it's a S*$# storm of a life.
----- I needed to see if the stuff I was chasing would matter much when I wasn't chasing it or measure who I am by it when I didn't have much to brag about. You see many of the people I know who do big things might tell you they aren't sure why they do it - it just has to be done. For me, I just wonder when you give yourself permission to rest and not chase things that don't seem to change your life all that dramatically, is life better?

So here I am... fairly unsatisfied with my new resolve of just sitting with my feelings and a new perspective. I plan to be present and use the time I rested to fuel the next wave of kicking butt and taking names.

I needed the time off - it was so important. I realized that much of what I did was to prove something to the audience of one. I just had to learn to be "the one". My hamster wheel was put in the cage by someone else and now I needed to dismantle the nonsense and really be deliberate which helped in being present.

Who are you? Why do you do what you do? Have you enjoyed the success or just kept moving the finish line?

I am certain the break in being perfect is the time when titanium breaks.... sometimes it's a necessary thing.

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
 If you are at peace you are living in the present.
 Lao Tzu

What's next?

           It's been twenty five years since I started in the fitness business. I fell into by accident in Germany and have been in it ever since. I started as a fitness instructor teaching step aerobics in my apartment complex laundry room to ladies in my building. At the top of my game I was presenting in Las Vegas for IDEA (a large trade conference) to a room full of instructors a yoga weight combination I created called Yo-Wei.
      It was the perfect gig for an entrepreneur, ADD, stay-at-home (mostly) mom with a deep desire to help others. I giggle as I look back at the things I learned about people, their weight and how life with it's ups and downs would allow me a rare glimpse into the dark places few people allow others. I was trusted with lives that had seen ups and downs and many had the scars to prove it.
         I got into personal training after my daughter was born. I was fat from pregnancy, depressed and needed to do something. I figured I would help myself first. I went back into the fitness room to teach aerobics weighing in at 200 lbs. Ashamed of my weight I knew I couldn't hide and needed to be as honest and transparent as possible. I was my first and most important client. In the past 19 years of personal training I have learned so much about this field.
I learned that:
-You can't want it more than your client
-If people don't pay for it they don't appreciate it
- If someone doesn't "feel" sore they will think you didn't do your job
- Sweat is somehow the only way you know you are burning fat, so they better sweat
- Your body is your business card make sure people believe what you say by the way you live
- this job is tough not everyone likes your style and some will go on to be successful without you
- you can't win them all and you can't lose the weight for them
- people will lie about everything including what they eat
- I was hired to change their bodies but really many wanted me to change their lives--- I often failed . they had to do that on their own.
- for many, exercise is where people go to hide their pain they need love and care first-- an ass whooping second-- be kind
- people are more afraid of success than failure and they will quit more often because of that than anything. Help them succeed first then they can stop trying to fail.
- If you don't offer a quick fix or magic pill they will find ways to get it without you
- They will show up time and time again hoping you will continue to help and believe in them - - there is magic in that -- be grateful you were chosen.

Our bodies are the most important place we live- our soul resides there but with a host of the best of who we are, the worst and the hope that we can change that in the future. My personal training career was a gift to me more than to my clients. I spent that time; running races from 5k's to marathons, competed for several years as a natural bodybuilder and completed two half Ironman races and two Full Ironman races. I never did those things to "prove" how great I was but really to create a path for anyone I worked with to show that they too could do anything they wanted to do.

I must be honest, I'm tired and it's time to call it a great success. I have spent many hours rearranging my schedule to help someone get a workout in, fielded countless phone calls of folks who "forgot" they had a sessions. Listened to hours of people telling them selves lies about what they were capable of and not doing great things because of it. I have given up traditional jobs, health care and retirement  funds to see people be great. I have been through it all, the good, the bad and,the ugly, and I wouldn't change a thing. I loved all my experiences and couldn't be more grateful for everyone who participated in my life and allowed me to participate in theirs.

I couldn't give up fitness or my life in it completely. I have already started the next - next thing.
I am working full time in real estate and will be doing some freelance work in fitness.

I will be blogging. I will be taking classes at fitness studios all over Asheville reviewing them and telling  you what's happening in the industry. Writing is a passion I have had all my life and a hobby much of it. Now it's time to really do more. My son and I are working out together and I am doing now what I call "oxygen mask behavior" taking care of me first. It's difficult to not help when it's where you feel like you really shine. It has finally occurred to me - I have to help myself first then help others.  Look for me on FB at Get Fit Asheville -- Thank you if you were one of my clients..
Also Look out for me doing real estate full time is the new/same gig!!